As I type this, I’m sitting in my bed, my eyes welling with tears. Nearly 10 minutes ago, I was reading “The Anthropology of an American Girl” by Hilary Thayer Hamann. On page 349, my eyes grazed across the word “imperturbable” and I thought how beautiful and mysterious of a word that is. I immediately googled “beautiful english words” and came across a multitude of search results. After opening the second page, I saw this:
[Portuguese loanword] longing for something or someone that you love and which is lost.
The tears began forming in my eyes and I was in amazement. I’ve never had the pleasure of experiencing a word that was so spot-on. A word that could explain such a complex feeling without need of assistance. That word is exactly how I feel about my grandmother almost every day. Sometimes I look for her and become stricken with saudade when I realize that she’s gone and I’m never going to find her. Whether it be the scent of the perfume she used to wear or accidentally even thinking of dialing her number just to here her voice. Saudade is exactly what I feel for her.